TV ZAPPING
 

While I am zapping through the channels on the TV, 
                                                                       the idiot box, 
                                                                       the boob tube, 
                                                                       the haunted fishbowl,
the following things cause me to immediately zap to the next channel: 


advertisements
promos
endless titles with computer graphics
flashes of light used to keep your attention
weather reports with lists of the temperatures everywhere
boring sports with boring commentators
animal acts (dressage, trained seals, acrobat dogs, etc.)
people exercising or doing yoga
an interesting speaker with maddeningly irritating repetitive background music
people with microphones jammed into their faces
guitar scratchers
rock and roll and pop music videos
computerized animation
programs that pander to children
people on the edges of high places, (sky diving, bungee jumping, etc.)
scuba divers in constant danger of drowning
realistic enactments of murder, rape, torture, etc.
realistic enactments of hospitals, very sick patients, operations, etc.
realistic enactments of death and funerals and grieving
detailed discussions of medical problems, and of diseases and their treatments
advice about how to lose weight, stay healthy, be happy, etc.
interviews about private concerns of the interviewee that are nobody else's business
nature films dealing with extinctions and ecological catastrophes
nature films mostly about the photographers
documentaries about superstitions (the Loch Ness Monster, Atlantis, etc.)
"reality" shows where the point is, who is blackballed and sent away in disgrace
panel discussions in which everyone yells at once
speakers who insert "eh" after every few words (or "you know" or "basically" etc.)
religious sermonizing, in any religion
politicians making speeches
comedians where the audience applauds after every joke instead of laughing
celebrities introducing each other
underexposed "arty" movies full of mumbling and pregnant pauses
subtitles in white letters on a white background 


You say: that doesn't leave much? You said it!