Optimist: The cup is half full.
Pessimist: The cup is half empty.

Optimist: This is the best of all possible worlds.
Pessimist: Yes, that's exactly the trouble.

Optimist: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
Pessimist: Do unto others before they do unto you.

Optimist: I see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Pessimist: That is another train coming straight at you.

Optimist: In that day the wolf and the lamb will live together. (Isaiah 11:6)
Pessimist: Wonderful -- as long as I will be a wolf.

Optimist: This note is legal tender for all debts, public and private, and is redeemable in lawful 
          money at the United States Treasury, or at any Federal Reserve Bank.
Pessimist: In God We Trust

Optimist: Every cloud has a silver lining.
Pessimist: But the problem is, how to get it to the bank.

Optimist: If at first you don't succeed -- try, try again.
Pessimist: If anything can go wrong, it will.

Optimist: If anything can go wrong, it will.
Pessimist: Nothing is that predictable.

There are two kinds of people: those who divide humanity into optimists and pessimists, and those who realize that it is not as simple as that.